Pittsburgh Pirates: Winters in Holland vs. Cobra - Pittsburgh Pirates

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Winters in Holland vs. Cobra Rate Topic: -----

Poll: Winter vs. Cobra (64 member(s) have cast votes)

Winter vs. Cobra

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#1 User is offline   Douchius Maximus 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 04:43 PM

Winters in Holland: How is it possible that a number one seed has a Team named after him that worships the very ground he walks on? This group of minions is so loyal that they'd never talk bad about him and would never consider disagreeing with him, yet he's still a number one seed? This committee recommends that you consider that each and every member of Team Winter is a tremendous douchebag and that should explain everything. Having a bunch of lackey douchebags worship you makes you an absolutely epic douche.

Winter is so in love with himself that when he didn't like the conditions on MGP he created his own exclusive and private message board named, "Operation Shutdown." It's prefect for his flunkies, so when they're not busy sucking on his dick, they can stay busy by blowing each other...in private, of course.

He's also a big supporter of the NRA and believes that all Americans have the right to bear arms. This committee strongly believes this only further proves that the only thing Winter bears is douche. He also believes there's an alien space station on the dark side of the moon and that time traveling is not only possible but something that occurs on a daily basis. When he's not traveling in time he's a conspiracy theorist that thinks the U.S. Government masterminded the attacks perpetrated on 9/11. Only a douche could think that George Bush and the group of retards that worked under him were savvy enough to pull off such a complex scheme.

And let's journey back to just seconds after the Penguins lost game six in the Stanley Cup Finals. Winter very douchily professed that had Marc Andre Fleury been pulled from goal earlier in the series that the Penguins would have hoisted the cup. Beside the fact that this is very likely completely wrong, why would Winter feel the need to piss off the already irate Penguin fans so quickly after being eliminated from the series? Can you say, "number one seed?"

And he's constantly criticizing the draft results of his beloved Steelers while being obsessed with drafting offensive lineman regardless of which players are actually available. Reaching to fill a need in a certain area is not only the best way to insure that you'll fuck up the draft, it's also very douchey. We also doubt that Mewelde Moore has ever received better felatio than he gets from Winter. There's no doubt he's had some good games but Winter chooses to focus on those as opposed to the entire SEASONS where Willie Parker was one of the more productive backs in the NFL.

Then there's his Big Book of GM Excuses. Shortly after Neal Huntington was hired as the Pirates new GM, Winter took an extended hiatus from posting on MGP. He claims to have spent a few months in the mountains with his gay squirrel friend Pontifex. Truth is, it took him a few months to write his manifesto in which he took potshots at any board member that wasn't a member of his douchey little team. Ironically, while he criticizes everyone for their thoughts on the new GM, his major rebuilding plan would be to focus on acquiring AAAA garbage like Alex Sanchez, Michael Restovich, Graham Koonce and Dallas McPherson. The committee only wonders if Winter was wearing his crooked, flat brimmed, KC Royals hat with the stickers still on it, while he was writing his insult laden book. We only hope he remembered to bring laundry detergent to his cabin in the woods so that when he read his writings back to himself, he was able to keep his Capri pants free from his own jizz stains.


Cobra: The committee believes it's been about two years since the Wilbur and Cobra have joined up with the rest of you douchebags. They had a reputation of being two brilliant baseball minds and it was thought of as a big deal that they would grace MGP with their presence. After about two weeks it became apparent that they're just a couple of douchebags with opinions, none of which are any more informed than the ones already being presented on MGP.

And can any of you recall a time when one of them was mentioned and the other wasn't? Wilbur and Cobra...Wilbur and Cobra...Wilbur and Cobra. Not having enough of an identity that people think of you as an individual=douche. They're like the Batman and Robin of douche, with the Wilbur being Batman. So, why does Cobra play second fiddle to Wilbur and why is he thought of as Robin? Because Cobra doesn't have a website that was created with one of these:



Despite Cobra not having a website that looks like it was created in 1927, he did feel obligated to start one of the douchiest threads in MGP history. He pompously asked the masses, "What makes you feel that you're superior to OBN? I don't see anything that makes you guys better." This didn't go over too well and he was pretty much told to shut the fuck up and instructed that if he didn't like the site he should leave and not let the proverbial door hit him in the ass on his way out. But he stuck around...which only makes him a bigger douche.

While it may be true that Cobra should have been seeded higher than sixteen, Winter should have no problem in this match as he's a powerhouse of douche than only comes along once a century.

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#2 User is offline   herrmorpheus 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 04:53 PM

Who the hell voted for Cobra?
Save a journalist, buy a newspaper.
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#3 User is offline   Pjoma 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 04:56 PM

QUOTE (herrmorpheus @ Apr 9 2009, 05:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Who the hell voted for Cobra?


Hmmm, well maybe this will give us an accurate head count on the current # of posters OSD. Or, if it isn't that, it will certainly tell us how many log-in ID's Winter has here.
"Huntington is doing exactly what he was hired to do, and that the fans and media in Pittsburgh cant quite grasp this, that they still hold the 2008-09 trades against him, is an indictment of their sensibilities." Joe Sheehan 6/6/10
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#4 User is offline   Jwill55sk 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 05:15 PM

QUOTE (Pjoma @ Apr 9 2009, 04:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hmmm, well maybe this will give us an accurate head count on the current # of posters OSD. Or, if it isn't that, it will certainly tell us how many log-in ID's Winter has here.


Fail.
"DePaul is about as relevant to this argument as the Steelers are." -Monarch, on a discussion of the quality of the Big East conference
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#5 User is offline   Pjoma 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 05:28 PM

QUOTE (Winters in Holland @ Apr 9 2009, 06:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I may be the biggest douche that's ever posted on a Pirates' message board, but I have NEVER used an extra screenname on OBN, MGP, or CIA.



.WiH.


I knew that and I don't question it either. That's actually the thing that has my respect. You always say what you're thinking and you always stand behind it.
"Huntington is doing exactly what he was hired to do, and that the fans and media in Pittsburgh cant quite grasp this, that they still hold the 2008-09 trades against him, is an indictment of their sensibilities." Joe Sheehan 6/6/10
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#6 User is offline   Jwill55sk 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 05:33 PM

QUOTE (Pjoma @ Apr 9 2009, 05:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I knew that and I don't question it either. That's actually the thing that has my respect. You always say what you're thinking and you always stand behind it.


Are you trying to step up the contradictions in Monarch's absence or what?
"DePaul is about as relevant to this argument as the Steelers are." -Monarch, on a discussion of the quality of the Big East conference
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#7 User is offline   jeffr92 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 05:36 PM

QUOTE (Winters in Holland @ Apr 9 2009, 06:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Fuck you, you cunt commando. I may be the biggest douche that's ever posted on a Pirates' message board, but I have NEVER used an extra screenname on OBN, MGP, or CIA.

Pjoma = created a website cataloging every behind-the-dude's-ass doggy-style shot in adult film history.


.WiH.

Last click has obviously told Pjoma differently.
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#8 User is offline   Pjoma 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 05:37 PM

QUOTE (Jwill55sk @ Apr 9 2009, 06:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Are you trying to step up the contradictions in Monarch's absence or what?


I've always told Winter that I don't have a problem with him. I may not agree with him, but he's always been straight in his convictions and been willing to debate those opposing him. I guess my sarcastic post went over heads.

"Huntington is doing exactly what he was hired to do, and that the fans and media in Pittsburgh cant quite grasp this, that they still hold the 2008-09 trades against him, is an indictment of their sensibilities." Joe Sheehan 6/6/10
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#9 User is offline   Ma13tt0 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 05:37 PM

QUOTE (Winters in Holland @ Apr 9 2009, 05:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Pjoma = created a website cataloging every behind-the-dude's-ass doggy-style shot in adult film history.


.WiH.


I'd say thats #1 with 2 being focusing in on the guys ball sack, as being the number thing I hate about porn. Horrible work by the director/cameraman.
"Penguin and ma13tt0 vindicated" - PF82 12/12/12 8:35 PM
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#10 User is offline   Ma13tt0 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 05:44 PM

QUOTE (Winters in Holland @ Apr 9 2009, 05:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The worst is when the dude's scrot doesn't tighten up, so it's just smacking all over the place, like when herm runs a wind sprint.


.WiH.

Thats what I was talking about in #2. Well really any ball shots, but the sagging slapping balls was a good portion of it. Seriously who wants to see that shit? I want to see the chick get nailed not some dudes cock and balls. If I did I'd walk over to Penguins house Saturday nights from 6-10pm when he has his glory hole/fuck fest hoedown showdown.
"Penguin and ma13tt0 vindicated" - PF82 12/12/12 8:35 PM
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#11 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 05:54 PM

QUOTE (Douchius Maximus @ Apr 9 2009, 02:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He also believes there's an alien space station on the dark side of the moon


This needed to be repeated.

"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

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"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#12 Guest_defdog_*

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 06:27 PM

WiH needs some credit where its due. It's taken him 19 friggin days to get this half of the bracket going again....

Great job ! 19 !

He musta had candle lighting duty at church this month along w/ talking to teens about throwing away condoms and getting married.
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#13 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 06:32 PM

QUOTE (defdog @ Apr 9 2009, 04:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WiH needs some credit where its due. It's taken him 19 friggin days to get this half of the bracket going again....

Great job ! 19 !

He musta had candle lighting duty at church this month along w/ talking to teens about throwing away condoms and getting married.


"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#14 User is offline   ecbenito 

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Posted 10 April 2009 - 06:17 AM

QUOTE (Pjoma @ Apr 9 2009, 05:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hmmm, well maybe this will give us an accurate head count on the current # of posters OSD. Or, if it isn't that, it will certainly tell us how many log-in ID's Winter has here.

your obsession with what is going on at Operation Shutdown is impressive to say the least. It is only rivaled by herrm's obsession for chick flicks that star John Cusack (not that there's anything wrong with that)
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#15 User is offline   GoBucs21 

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Posted 10 April 2009 - 06:34 AM

Are we still in the first round?
People say I am ruthless. I am not ruthless. And if I find the man who is calling me ruthless, I shall destroy him.
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Day of commemoration to honor the Victims of Bowling Green, April 1, 2017.
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#16 Guest_u0007890_*

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Posted 10 April 2009 - 07:29 AM

QUOTE (GoBucs21 @ Apr 10 2009, 07:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Are we still in the first round?


No shit. I haven't gotten to play yet.
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#17 User is offline   buccosmfg 

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Posted 10 April 2009 - 07:33 AM

QUOTE (ecbenito @ Apr 10 2009, 07:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
your obsession with what is going on at Operation Shutdown is impressive to say the least. It is only rivaled by herrm's obsession for chick flicks that star John Cusack (not that there's anything wrong with that)


If watching Must Love Dogs is wrong then I don't want to be right.


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#18 User is offline   DoctorJohnnyFever 

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Posted 10 April 2009 - 08:18 AM

QUOTE
This isn't quite as one-sided as I thought it would be. I might not even make it to the Final Four.


Well, the NFL draft is in three weeks, so that might get you an extra round. Then again, by the time we get to the next round we'll be talking about the 2010 picks.
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#19 User is offline   SyrBucco 

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Posted 10 April 2009 - 08:41 AM

Don't you worry about getting to the Final Four, Dutchy, your douche is strong.

This matchup reminds me of the old joke about the latest score from the Coliseum:
Lions 27
Christians 0

Cobra never had a chance.
Knowing that you lied straight-faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe
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#20 User is offline   NYPirate 

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Posted 10 April 2009 - 08:42 AM

Diane Lane used to be so hot, she has aged rapidly over the past 1-2 years.
``Weve got some holes were looking to fill. We dont feel like we desperately have to do anything. Were in a great spot to be in. If we can upgrade, outstanding. Upgrade at an appropriate acquisition cost, even better.
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