Pittsburgh Pirates: NYPirate vs. James K. Polk - Pittsburgh Pirates

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NYPirate vs. James K. Polk Rate Topic: -----

Poll: NYPirate vs. Polk (58 member(s) have cast votes)

NYPirate vs. James K. Polk

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#1 User is offline   Douchius Maximus 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 11:34 AM

NYPirate: This committee recognizes that NYPirate is not quite the douchebag he once was. However, despite the fact that he's been fairly well behaved for a while now, he was such an asshole prior that he still managed to capture a number one seeding. When someone has actually been tolerable for an extended period of time and still manages a number one seed, that must mean he's like the Goodyear Blimp of Douche.

What an apt analogy that is. NYP loves nothing more than to insult other other board members about their physical appearance, most specifically about their weight. Apparently he's never heard that old saying; you know, the one about people living in glass houses and the recommendation that they shouldn't throw stones? His overweight house has multiple chins and our friend Ben Falge was able to dig up this little gem of a photo to prove it:



That's right, that's NYP. How ironic that this committee has seen him talking about taking body building supplements like Creatine, Tribestan and Amino acids, when the reality is that the only supplements he actually uses are Mayonnaise, Maple Syrup and extra butter.

What makes this tournament participant an even bigger douche is his refusal to recognize his own actions. In his mind he's become the morality police on CIA, yet he somehow forgets that he openly expressed his desire for Penguin's plane to crash on his way to Pittsburgh last summer. And after posting Ed Smallwood's picture and repeatedly taking potshots at his appearance, he'll still lecture others that posting pictures of other board members is wrong. Fucking douchebag.

He's also the driving force behind the WVU vs Pitt battles. There was a time where the board was absolutely littered with this endless bickering and the majority of it was his doing. He could singlehandedly turn a thread about fishing rods into an analysis of why Noel Devine needed braces as a young child.

And how about his screen name? He isn't from New York and he doesn't live in New York, yet his name is NYPirate. Perhaps his imaginary "team in Beijing" gave him some poor advice as to how to choose a name.


James K Polk: Polk is another board member that was on the bubble and almost didn't get into the tournament. What sealed the deal and got him a spot was the fact that he actually has a life and doesn't spend much time on the board anymore. Ditching your douchebag friends only increases one's level of doucheosity.

Polk is one of the nicer, more civil guys on the board and he isn't ashamed to admit his love for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. He thinks highly enough of himself to name himself after the eleventh president of the United States. That's a VERY douchey screen name. But he rarely gets into the thick of the heated battles and will never resort to name calling. He doesn't need to as he'll just figure out a way to let you know how much smarter he is than everybody else. You see, he's a psychologist and he isn't bashful in letting everyone know that...over...and over...and over again.

When Tony Armas Jr. struggled in his stint with the Pirates, Polk was there to point to a study that was done at Northwestern University in 1991 that illustrated that second generation Venezuelan major league baseball players have a success rate that's 39% lower than first generation Venezuelan major league baseball players. Typically when Polk posts links to these studies what he's really saying is, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...you're dumb and uneducated...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...I'm smart and overeducated."

That being said, this committee doesn't expect Polk to garner a single vote in his matchup with NYPirate. And if he does, he'll just post a link to a study from the University of California at Berkely, that illustrates that anyone that voted for him didn't get enough attention from his father.
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#2 User is offline   PF82 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 12:01 PM

If this doesnt bring monarch back out of hiding, he may truly be gone for good.

And for the record, bacon is a totally acceptable supplement.
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#3 User is offline   GoBucs21 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 12:19 PM

Jesus, this is still the first round.
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#4 User is offline   NYPirate 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 12:46 PM

That guy has 3 more chins and doesn't tan nearly as well as I do, just sayin'.
``Weve got some holes were looking to fill. We dont feel like we desperately have to do anything. Were in a great spot to be in. If we can upgrade, outstanding. Upgrade at an appropriate acquisition cost, even better.
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#5 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 12:53 PM

QUOTE (GoBucs21 @ Apr 5 2009, 10:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Jesus, this is still the first round.

If my count is right, they are only half way done with the first round. That's a long process to simply to anoint monarch the winner, something that's truly not in question.

Regardless, I've enjoyed the ball busting. Apparently monarch hasn't. Which makes it even better.
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#6 User is offline   Martini 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 12:56 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Apr 5 2009, 01:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If my count is right, they are only half way done with the first round. That's a long process to simply to anoint monarch the winner, something that's truly not in question.

Regardless, I've enjoyed the ball busting. Apparently monarch hasn't. Which makes it even better.

If this is what it takes, let the tourney never end.


Get it?
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#7 User is offline   Jeff King 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 01:58 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Apr 5 2009, 10:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Regardless, I've enjoyed the ball busting. Apparently monarch hasn't.


Are you saying that Monarch has taken his ball busting and gone home?
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#8 User is offline   JamesKPolk 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 05:37 PM

Polk sucks!!
How long, Peggy?!
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#9 User is offline   Martini 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 06:58 PM

This is an epic beatdown.


Get it?
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#10 User is offline   NYPirate 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 07:01 PM

QUOTE (LonghornBuc @ Apr 5 2009, 07:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I didnt realize nyp has four aliases

I voted for myself.
``Weve got some holes were looking to fill. We dont feel like we desperately have to do anything. Were in a great spot to be in. If we can upgrade, outstanding. Upgrade at an appropriate acquisition cost, even better.
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#11 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 07:03 PM

I know there's been some hyperbole and liberties taken with the introductions, but is that really NYPirate? If so, I understand why he didn't come to MGP Night.
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#12 User is offline   jpbucco 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 07:08 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Apr 5 2009, 08:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I know there's been some hyperbole and liberties taken with the introductions, but is that really NYPirate? If so, I understand why he didn't come to MGP Night.


I think that dude looks pretty skinny.

















..compared to me.
Oh shit! There's stickers!
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#13 User is offline   NYPirate 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 07:19 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Apr 5 2009, 08:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I know there's been some hyperbole and liberties taken with the introductions, but is that really NYPirate? If so, I understand why he didn't come to MGP Night.

Dude that's so me. How can you not like those rosey red cheeks?
``Weve got some holes were looking to fill. We dont feel like we desperately have to do anything. Were in a great spot to be in. If we can upgrade, outstanding. Upgrade at an appropriate acquisition cost, even better.
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#14 User is offline   NYPirate 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 07:20 PM

and if you view Ben Falge's folder you can see my dawg of a lady. I got it made.

Edit: Boo Ben, he got rid of the pictures.
``Weve got some holes were looking to fill. We dont feel like we desperately have to do anything. Were in a great spot to be in. If we can upgrade, outstanding. Upgrade at an appropriate acquisition cost, even better.
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#15 Guest_Nickflair04_*

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 08:15 PM

QUOTE (NYPirate @ Apr 5 2009, 01:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That guy has 3 more chins and doesn't tan nearly as well as I do, just sayin'.


Wait, is this sarcasm, or did you just admit that you tan?
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#16 User is offline   NYPirate 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 08:33 PM

QUOTE (Nickflair04 @ Apr 5 2009, 09:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wait, is this sarcasm, or did you just admit that you tan?

Did you just admit you don't tan? Are you Casper? Powder?
``Weve got some holes were looking to fill. We dont feel like we desperately have to do anything. Were in a great spot to be in. If we can upgrade, outstanding. Upgrade at an appropriate acquisition cost, even better.
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#17 User is offline   PF82 

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Posted 05 April 2009 - 08:34 PM

my benfalge itches
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I thought I was shock proof"
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#18 User is offline   buccosmfg 

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Posted 06 April 2009 - 06:56 AM

QUOTE (PF82 @ Apr 5 2009, 09:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
my benfalge itches

a shot of pnicillin will clear that up for you
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#19 User is offline   SyrBucco 

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Posted 06 April 2009 - 08:22 AM

I've posted on a few boards where President Polk has shared his thoughts, and he is invariably undouchelike out in the ether. So NYPirate, who JMHO is not worthy of a 1-seed, will win this thing in a walkaway.

NYPirate = Duke University of Douche ... very overrated.
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#20 User is offline   Douchius Maximus 

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Posted 06 April 2009 - 02:43 PM

Mvk easily rolls The Prez to advance to the 2nd round.
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