Pittsburgh Pirates: I Am Not Bayliss vs. Seanawesome - Pittsburgh Pirates

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I Am Not Bayliss vs. Seanawesome Rate Topic: -----

Poll: Bayliss vs. Seanawesome (53 member(s) have cast votes)

Bayliss vs. Seanawesome

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#1 User is offline   Douchius Maximus 

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Posted 31 March 2009 - 03:41 PM

Seanawesome: This committee strongly considered leaving Seanawesome out of the tournament. After all, if not for him, this merry band of douchebags might no longer be posting together. When Vinman took a brief break from receiving anal and decided to shut down MGP, Sean stepped up and created CIA. It was his time, effort and even money that kept you all from having to post on OBN, UPPMB or even Jake's board. This committee speaks on behalf of all you douchebags and extends a huge "Thank You" to Seanawesome. However, we cannot deny that he is, in fact, a douchebag.

Who in their right mind thinks so highly of himself to create a screen name that consists of his actual first name...followed up by the word "Awesome?" Quite clearly only someone that doesn't realize that doing so, makes you a douche.

When it comes to Sean's posts, they're generally short, not particularly insightful and rarely contain much information. Yet he's somehow managed to get into knock down, drag out, cyber-brawls with just about everyone he's ever come in contact with on the boards.

He's also exhibited some very questionable behavior by repeatedly abusing his moderating powers on the board. First, he messed with Greybeard's posts by decreasing his font size, disabling his ability to use caps lock and making all his posts appear in pink, followed up by gay emoticons. Then he made it so nobody could see any of Tommi Salami's posts, except for Tommi, which of course drove him from the board. Now, you're probably asking yourself, "So how does any of this make him a douche?" It doesn't, in fact Sean should be commended for his actions. He's a douchebag because he doesn't do this kind of stuff to the board assholes more often.

Sean is also responsible for two memorably douchey incidents from MGP Night. First, he left a perfectly good bottle of Jameson's sitting on the pavement on a hot and humid July afternoon. This didn't stop a select crew of douchebags from drinking it, of course. Then after Sean got himself properly buzzed, he spent the entire game throwing peanuts at a young man wearing a jersey that said "Blosser," on the back. Blosser's parents thought that Sean was a tremendous douche.


I Am Not Bayliss: If you think Seanawesome has a douchey name, let's introduce you to his opponent, Bayliss. Let's go back two years in time to the beginning of the 2007 baseball season. Jonah Bayliss, who was acquired from KC for Mark Redman, was pitching lights out in the Pirates bullpen. It seemed like every time he entered a game, he inherited baserunners and stranded them. (Hey, Tdippo. Stranding runners means that he completed the inning and the runners that were already on base didn't score.) A new member turned up on MGP, who decided to cleverly craft his screen name based on Jonah Bayliss's stellar early season performance. He went by:

"OldUserNameWasStrandedByBayliss."

The only problem with this, is that shortly after this screen name debuted, the real Jonah Bayliss showed up...and unfortunately for Pirates fans, he stayed. Now the only thing left to be stranded by this new MGP member, was douche.

When Bayliss started posting, there was a strong similarity between his posts and JWill's posts. Many board members were convinced that Bayliss was just an alias that JWill was using. It was later revealed that although they are in fact, friends in RL, they actually are two different people. However, one might say that Bayliss is to JWill as Linus is to security blanket, as it seems like Bayliss only posts when his bestest buddy is around. This committee sees that as bordering on gay and bordering on gay=douche.

And while Bayliss is one of the more informed and opinionated sports fans on the board, you wouldn't know it by the majority of his posts from the last year or so. It seems as if he's no longer up for a good debate so he's resorted to mostly posting random pictures and videos. Spending time on a sports related message board while having an extensive knowledge of sports and a keen ability to debate, yet refusing to do so=douche.


This matchup should be titled, "The Battle of The Douchey Screen Names."
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#2 User is offline   mzimmerman81 

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Posted 31 March 2009 - 03:41 PM

Bayliss should win this going away
5 GP

10-16, 4-2B, 2-3B, 9 RBI, 6 R
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#3 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 31 March 2009 - 03:53 PM

6 months ago, Seanawesome wins this running away. But I don't think there's a single poster who has improved their reputation more since last fall than Sean.
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#4 User is offline   Jwill55sk 

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Posted 31 March 2009 - 03:58 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Mar 31 2009, 03:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
6 months ago, Seanawesome wins this running away. But I don't think there's a single poster who had improved their reputation more since last fall than Sean.


PenguinSummarizer: 6 months ago, Seanawesome wins this running away. But now Seanawesome has converted to Team Winter.
"DePaul is about as relevant to this argument as the Steelers are." -Monarch, on a discussion of the quality of the Big East conference
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#5 User is offline   I Am Not Bayliss 

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Posted 31 March 2009 - 04:06 PM

uber pwnage
QUOTE (herrmorpheus @ Dec 13 2008, 09:37 PM)
You at least give the illusion of trying to contend. You never know when you're going to pull a Tampa Bay.

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#6 User is offline   seanawesome 

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Posted 31 March 2009 - 04:49 PM

fuck
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#7 User is offline   buccosmfg 

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Posted 31 March 2009 - 10:50 PM

Blosser thinks the vast majority of you guys are crazy
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#8 User is offline   SyrBucco 

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 12:24 PM

Sean shoulda been a 16 seed. This is no contest.

And Bayliss hates Brent Clevlen.
Knowing that you lied straight-faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe
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#9 User is offline   I Am Not Bayliss 

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 02:48 PM

QUOTE (SyrBucco @ Apr 1 2009, 12:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And Bayliss hates Brent Clevlen.

Rightfully so.
QUOTE (herrmorpheus @ Dec 13 2008, 09:37 PM)
You at least give the illusion of trying to contend. You never know when you're going to pull a Tampa Bay.

1

#10 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 03:15 PM

QUOTE (I Am Not Bayliss @ Apr 1 2009, 12:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Rightfully so.

Says the douche winning 38-13.
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#11 User is offline   Douchius Maximus 

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 06:50 PM

I Am Not Bayliss easily takes down Seanawesome to advance to the 2nd round.
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