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Penguin vs. Calig Rate Topic: -----

Poll: Penguin vs. Calig (58 member(s) have cast votes)

Penguin vs. Calig

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#1 User is offline   Douchius Maximus 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:25 PM

Penguin: This selection committee didn't think it was possible to pack so much douche into such a small body, but Penguin has defied the odds. We remember a time about two years ago when Penguin stated that he was no longer going to be able to spend so much time posting on MGP. Ironically, it was right around that time that his post count began to skyrocket and instead of decreasing his time on the board, he increased it exponentially. That just made him a bigger douche than he already was.

Has there ever been a time that any of you have signed on to the various boards over the years and Penguin wasn't on the board? If you answered, "yes," then you're lying. He's so addicted to posting on message boards that he goes trolling on any board that will validate his registration. But he's such an antagonistic douchebag that with the exception of his tenure posting among this crew, not a single one of his board memberships has lasted as long as Raul Mondesi's tenure with the Pirates.

He tends to find a way to piss off everyone he comes in contact with on-line. Sure, Dale Gabriel is a total asshole, but is it any coincidence that he felt the need to target Penguin? Sure, Defdog is completely retarded and has never made a single post that made sense, but is it any coincidence that he hates Penguin's guts? Sure, Syrbucco was an OBN admin, but is it any coincidence that a guy as reasonable as he is would have advocated banning Penguin from OBN for comments he made on ESPN? This committee believes the answer to all those questions is, "No. It's not a coincidence. Penguin is a douche."

Then there's Penguin's little scuffle with Calig from last year, which of course makes this such an interesting matchup. Despite the fact that Calig acted like a douche by assuming that Penguin was guilty without having anything to base it on, has anyone ever seen a douchier response than Penguin's?

"Fuck you, Calig! You're dead to me!"

Telling someone that you've never even met, that they're dead to you, is so far beyond douche that this committee is considering redefining the word.

After reading all of this, some of you may feel the need to tell Penguin to chill out and have a beer or a bong hit. But he'll only turn you down as he's been a recovering alcoholic for 25 years. While this committee respects Penguin's decision to remain sober, there's only one word for someone that allowed their life to get so out of control by the age of 15 than they can never again have a sip of alcohol. That word is Douche.


Calig: He's the self-professed "Knower of All Things." We agree with this sentiment, but in this case, "All Things," means, "Douche."

This tournament participant has been posting amongst this crew going back many years, all the way to the ESPN board. Yet throughout all these years, this committee has learned absolutely nothing about him. Think about it, other than the fact that he's a Pirates fan, can any of you tell us a single thing about Calig? Is he 50? Is he 24? Is he married? Is he single? Does he have kids? Where does he live? Is he an amputee? What kind of music does he like? Does he even listen to music? Where does he hide the bodies after he lures people over to his home and chops them into pieces after poisoning them? This committee isn't sure of the answers to any of these questions, but we are certain that being unwilling to reveal even the most minute and insignificant detail about one's self=douche.

And what made Calig side with Vinman, during last year's fiasco that lead up to the demise of MGP? After being virtually absent from the board for six months he decided to offer up his two arrogant and uninformed cents while essentially telling Penguin and BOP that they must be guilty of something that he really had no ucking clue about. We know that Vinman loves anal, so is it possible that Calig loves anal and felt the need to defend him because they're "Brothers in Anal?" Whatever the reason is, blindly coming to the defense of an asshole like Vinman makes one a douche.

And in a recent exchange with Penguin on CIA where the two were discussing this matchup, Calig peeled back another layer of his douche onion. Apparently he felt that the committee would be able recall his many moments of douche from over the years. We'd like to tell Calig to get over himself, because other than his trivia contests and his love for Vinman, we can't recall a single post he's ever made. Overestimating one's significance on a message board=douche.

Can Calig put up a strong showing against a douche of such epic proportions as Penguin? Doubtful, but LET'S GET IT ON!!!

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#2 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:36 PM

Holy shit, I'm losing?!?!?!?!?!
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#3 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:52 PM

You guys realize it's long been rumored that I like men, right?
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#4 User is offline   herrmorpheus 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:52 PM

Penguin gets the vote. Because while I giggled incessantly at the fact that he spooged all over himself at MGP night, and while I think he's a good dude, his personal quest for members on a message board to have "credibility" and stating that some have lost theirs is douchey enough for a vote.
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#5 User is offline   buccosmfg 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:53 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Mar 26 2009, 09:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You guys realize it's long been rumored that I like men, right?


You've got my vote, bitch.
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#6 User is offline   PF82 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:54 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Mar 26 2009, 09:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Holy shit, I'm losing?!?!?!?!?!


I find it hilarious that the vote is this close.
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I thought I was shock proof"
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#7 User is offline   herrmorpheus 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:55 PM

Wait, so which is correct? This seeding or the seeding in the original bracket?

http://www.changeinatmosphere.com/dbag/2009/
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#8 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:57 PM

QUOTE (herrmorpheus @ Mar 26 2009, 06:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Penguin gets the vote. Because while I giggled incessantly at the fact that he spooged all over himself at MGP night, and while I think he's a good dude, his personal quest for members on a message board to have "credibility" and stating that some have lost theirs is douchey enough for a vote.

Thank you. At least one person here is a man of integrity.

Except when it comes to his opinion about Barry Bonds, T.O., Evgeni Malkin, and horses.
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
0

#9 User is offline   Jwill55sk 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:57 PM

Yeah, who is the douchebag that is underestimating my douche seed?
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#10 User is offline   Jeff King 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 08:57 PM

QUOTE (herrmorpheus @ Mar 26 2009, 06:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wait, so which is correct? This seeding or the seeding in the original bracket?

http://www.changeinatmosphere.com/dbag/2009/


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#11 User is offline   seanawesome 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 09:02 PM

The seeds on that page are wrong due to some dbag who made that bracket f'ng up the seedings. I will fix it when I get time.
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#12 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 09:09 PM

For those of you who haven't voted, allow me to say this:

I love this show



LOVE IT
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#13 User is offline   herrmorpheus 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 09:11 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Mar 26 2009, 10:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
For those of you who haven't voted, allow me to say this:

I love this show



LOVE IT


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#14 User is offline   PF82 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 09:12 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Mar 26 2009, 10:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
For those of you who haven't voted, allow me to say this:

I love this show



LOVE IT


crystal bernard was smokin. SMOKIN!
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I thought I was shock proof"
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#15 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 09:13 PM

QUOTE (PF82 @ Mar 26 2009, 07:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
crystal bernard was smokin. SMOKIN!

+1

Wait, Crystal Bernand played Roy, right?

"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#16 User is offline   PF82 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 09:15 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Mar 26 2009, 10:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
+1

Wait, Crystal Bernand played Roy, right?


Silly h0m0. she played Fay.

*roar*
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#17 User is offline   Martini 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 09:17 PM

Fuck you, "Local Guy".


Get it?
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#18 User is offline   buccosmfg 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 09:23 PM

QUOTE (PF82 @ Mar 26 2009, 10:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
crystal bernard was smokin. SMOKIN!


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#19 User is online   GoBucs21 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 09:28 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Mar 26 2009, 09:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You guys realize it's long been rumored that I like men, right?

That rules out Monarch as one you might prefer sexually.
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#20 User is offline   Jeff King 

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Posted 26 March 2009 - 09:38 PM

I'm hoping Calig will let us know the correct pronunciation.

I always thought it was pronounced, "cuh-LIG." But a few of us went to BBB's card shop on MGP weekend, and he referred to you as, "KAY-lig."

So?




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