Pittsburgh Pirates: Kraig vs. Parkerbatteryday - Pittsburgh Pirates

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Kraig vs. Parkerbatteryday Rate Topic: -----

Poll: Kraig vs. PBD (57 member(s) have cast votes)

Kraig vs. PBD

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#1 User is offline   Douchius Maximus 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:00 AM

Kraig: Why would somebody spell the name "Craig" with a "K?" You'll have to ask this mountain of douche. And if you do ask, you'll likely get an answer like, "Just meet me anywhere! I'll kick your fucking ass!" Then, moments later, when multiple board members tell Craig how pathetic it is to act like an internet message board tough guy, you'll get this patented response:

"I've just had a really long week. I actually look forward to buying a beer for (insert person's name that he threatened here) at the next CIA night."

When he isn't cyber-threatening people, he's littering the board with his other awful posts. If not for such stellar responses like "Amen", "+1", or random pictures that aren't remotely humorous, would anyone recall a single post by Kraig? This committee wouldn't.

Couple that with his reaction on the board to the now infamous "Green T-Shirt/Walkout of a game we just bought tickets to, where we just gave money to the very cause we're protesting against," protest. He responded to any and all questions or criticims of said protest with, "at least we're trying to do something!"

Oh, and for those of you that don't already know...Craig was also Littlefield Is Clueless. He can try as hard as he wants to make up stories that LIC was the son of a certain Pittsburgh sports writer, but the truth of the matter is that Craig=LIC.

It must be hard to carry all that douche around with only two legs, but Craig pulls it off very nicely.


PBD: Based on his spectacular performance in the planning and organizing of last year's MGP Night tailgate extravaganza, it's pretty obvious to this selection committee that if ParkerBatteryDay ever decides to change careers, he's got a hell of a future as a wedding planner. Oh, and in case you didn't know, not only are all wedding planners VERY gay, they also wreak of douche!

He started the following threads:

"Final, final, final headcount for tickets to the game."

and

"OK, so one last time. Who's bringing what on Saturday?"

so many times that DJF had to ask Vinman for more space on the board.[Of course, Vinman couldn't oblige because he was busy getting anal.]

Another factor in PBD's doucheosity is the amount of effort he exudes in an attempt to be considered a douche. If not for that, he might not even be thought of as a douche, but posing as a douche=douche. As a matter of fact, PBD was the only poster to actually approach the committe requesting a higher seed, which only makes him a bigger douche.

All that being said, we really don't see anyway that he could get past Craig. If douche was sand, Craig would be the Sahara Desert.

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#2 User is offline   mzimmerman81 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:02 AM

[quote name='Douchius Maximus' date='Mar 23 2009, 12:00 PM' post='45830']

Oh, and for those of you that don't already know...Craig was also Littlefield Is Clueless. He can try as hard as he wants to make up stories that LIC was the son of a certain Pittsburgh sports writer, but the truth of the matter is that Craig=LIC.




WAIT, WHAT?



5 GP

10-16, 4-2B, 2-3B, 9 RBI, 6 R
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#3 User is offline   Jeff King 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:03 AM

Oh. My. God.
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#4 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:06 AM

I think it's safe to say the board will never be the same after this.
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#5 User is offline   mzimmerman81 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:09 AM

I don't want to assume who is in charge of this and doing the writing but I have a pretty good idea. Did the reveal ever happen for this?
5 GP

10-16, 4-2B, 2-3B, 9 RBI, 6 R
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#6 User is offline   Jeff King 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:10 AM

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that PBD doesn't have a chance.
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#7 User is offline   greybeard131 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:32 AM

IT'S A SHUTOUT SO FAR!!!
FIRE NEAL HUNTINGTON!
FIRE WINDBAG COONELLY!
FIRE CLINT HURDLE!
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#8 User is offline   greybeard131 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:33 AM

FUCKING FLOOD CONTROL SUCKS!!!
FIRE NEAL HUNTINGTON!
FIRE WINDBAG COONELLY!
FIRE CLINT HURDLE!
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#9 User is offline   greybeard131 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:35 AM

PBD VOTED FOR HIMSELF
FIRE NEAL HUNTINGTON!
FIRE WINDBAG COONELLY!
FIRE CLINT HURDLE!
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#10 User is offline   seanawesome 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 11:54 AM

Sorry Kraig, but PBD put in a ton of effort in the MGP night.
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#11 Guest_defdog_*

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 12:06 PM

QUOTE
Jonas Brothers – Year 3000 – Listen free and discover music at Last.fm
kandi54x and kraigk added Jonas Brothers – Year 3000 to their libraries. ... on this page is licensed under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License. ...
www.last.fm/music/Jonas+Brothers/_/Year+3000 - 113k - Cached - Similar pages
More results from www.last.fm »


This is mildly amusing, and has no bearing on this...

Google does show a few things with KraigK and LiC (people speculating etc).


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#12 User is offline   Pjoma 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 12:11 PM

Boy, unless that can be disputed, the entire focus of the competition changed full circle. This is like finding out fifteen minutes before the prom that the hot chick you asked to it is a tranny.
"Huntington is doing exactly what he was hired to do, and that the fans and media in Pittsburgh cant quite grasp this, that they still hold the 2008-09 trades against him, is an indictment of their sensibilities." Joe Sheehan 6/6/10
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#13 User is offline   mzimmerman81 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 12:14 PM


5 GP

10-16, 4-2B, 2-3B, 9 RBI, 6 R
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#14 User is offline   NYPirate 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 12:22 PM

QUOTE (Pjoma @ Mar 23 2009, 01:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Boy, unless that can be disputed, the entire focus of the competition changed full circle. This is like finding out fifteen minutes before the prom that the hot chick you asked to it is a tranny.

just wait until everyone finds out penguin was lrhotspot.
``Weve got some holes were looking to fill. We dont feel like we desperately have to do anything. Were in a great spot to be in. If we can upgrade, outstanding. Upgrade at an appropriate acquisition cost, even better.
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#15 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 12:23 PM

QUOTE (NYPirate @ Mar 23 2009, 10:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
just wait until everyone finds out penguin was lrhotspot.

I was? How come I'm not getting laid every night?

But without the Last Click feature, are you sure?
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#16 User is offline   bucc-o-pain 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 12:34 PM

Kraig = LIC certainly changes the outcome of this tourney without question.

Holee shit.
Utah, get me two.
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#17 Guest_sloshyj_*

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 12:35 PM

TALK BASEBALL!! TALK BASEBALL!!
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#18 User is offline   Pjoma 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 12:39 PM

It also raises one other question. For WIH, or anyone that knew of this, to not share this with the board before today, isn't that taking the level of douche to new extremes too.


I would like to know why there was a veil of secrecy on that little gem.
"Huntington is doing exactly what he was hired to do, and that the fans and media in Pittsburgh cant quite grasp this, that they still hold the 2008-09 trades against him, is an indictment of their sensibilities." Joe Sheehan 6/6/10
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#19 User is offline   jpbucco 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 12:40 PM

Wait, if Kraig is L.I.C. and L.I.C. was Lloyd sucks and Finkle was Einhorn and Finkle was a man and I kissed Einhorn...that means....I KISSED KRAIG!!!!
Oh shit! There's stickers!
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#20 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 12:42 PM

QUOTE (Pjoma @ Mar 23 2009, 10:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It also raises one other question. For WIH, or anyone that knew of this, to not share this with the board before today, isn't that taking the level of douche to new extremes too.


I would like to know why there was a veil of secrecy on that little gem.

Exactly. And I want to know why I wasn't informed to the fact I was lrhotspot.
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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