Pittsburgh Pirates: Bucsbriana vs. Mercerboy - Pittsburgh Pirates

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Bucsbriana vs. Mercerboy Rate Topic: -----

Poll: Bree vs. Mercer (61 member(s) have cast votes)

Bucsbriana vs. Mercerboy

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#1 User is offline   Douchius Maximus 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:45 PM

The second matchup for today is a 7/10 battle between bucsbriana and mercerboy.

Bucsbriana: The lone female member of CIA is not immune to douche. Her douchetastic antics have been well documented. For example, her obsession with Duke, Mackowiak and Nady. Not because they might be good ballplayers, but because they're the dreamiest on the diamond. Let's not forget her astute statistical analysis like:

"If you just remove Duke's eight bad starts in the first half...," or, "The reason why Oliver Perez's ERA is so low is because of all the games where he pitched seven innings and gave up no runs. Those games lower his ERA from the games where he pitched bad, so you don't get an accurate idea of how bad he's actually pitched this year."

Then there's her supernatural obsession with Crosby and refusal to admit that he might not be a better player than Evgeni Malkin. And how many more times do our ears have to ring with douche, from her famous catchphrase:

"What do I know? I'm just a girl."

If all that isn't enough, Briana also deleted her own account on CIA after being called a name by a certain "Outlaw." It wasn't dramatic enough to just take a break from the board and stop posting for a while...she had to make a spectacle of it and delete her account. But here's the best part. She came back with a new account just a few weeks later!

Will this irrational specimen take her entry in this tournament in stride or will this cause her to demand her account be deleted again? Only time will tell.


Mercer: A genuine mid major when it comes to douche, Mercer's douche star really began to shine when he felt it was necessary to quote himself in his own signature. This official videographer for MGP night may have lost some street cred when video evidence surfaced of him tossing fruit around a yard and calling it sport. Does a rather unhealthy obsession with Jenna Haze classify one as a douche? If it doesn't, then his even unhealthier obsession with the worst and least significant radio show in the history of broadcasting, certainly does. Let's also not forget that he pretends that his last name is Mercer, when in fact that's the name of a town in Pennsylvania that he lives near. Wow!!!

Perhaps this description should be in photo essay format to decide how big of a douche The One, The Only, The Incomparable Mercer Boy truly is. The committee fully expects Mercer Boy to vent his frustration over these criticims in either a video blog or by diving even further into his addiction to Guitar Hero.
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#2 User is offline   bucsbriana 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:47 PM

Thank you Winter, your writing is far too kind.
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#3 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:55 PM

All I have to say is.........wow.
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#4 User is offline   tdippo 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 01:01 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Mar 20 2009, 01:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
All I have to say is.........wow.



Do you expect to make a deep run in this Tourney, Penguin?

0

#5 Guest_sloshyj_*

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 01:04 PM

No... contest...
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#6 User is offline   Ma13tt0 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 01:06 PM

QUOTE (tdippo @ Mar 20 2009, 01:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Do you expect to make a deep run in this Tourney, Penguin?

He plans on going balls deep if thats what youre asking.
"Penguin and ma13tt0 vindicated" - PF82 12/12/12 8:35 PM
0

#7 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 01:07 PM

QUOTE (tdippo @ Mar 20 2009, 11:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Do you expect to make a deep run in this Tourney, Penguin?

Yeah, I think I'm a huge douche and hope others here realize that. However, I have a tough potential second round match up with JwILL that truly could go either way. After that, I'm likely paired up with Pjoma and would likely need to remind people of some of the many douchestatic things I've done over the years if I have any hope of taking him down.

How do you like your chances?
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
0

#8 User is offline   PenguinSummarizer 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 01:24 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Mar 20 2009, 01:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
All I have to say is.........wow.

translation: wow
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#9 User is offline   tdippo 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 01:57 PM

QUOTE (Penguin @ Mar 20 2009, 02:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, I think I'm a huge douche and hope others here realize that. However, I have a tough potential second round match up with JwILL that truly could go either way. After that, I'm likely paired up with Pjoma and would likely need to remind people of some of the many douchestatic things I've done over the years if I have any hope of taking him down.

How do you like your chances?



I will make a sweet 16 run, but being in the Monarch bracket, I would have some serious work to do in the next few days...
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#10 User is offline   hir51 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 02:01 PM

QUOTE (tdippo @ Mar 20 2009, 02:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I will make a sweet 16 run, but being in the Monarch bracket, I would have some serious work to do in the next few days...


You have to get by me in the first round. I just might be the Cinderella story.

Remeber. Popped collar. Jager-bombs. Haircut.



Yeah. That may as well be about me.
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#11 User is offline   buccosmfg 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 02:02 PM

QUOTE (tdippo @ Mar 20 2009, 02:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I will make a sweet 16 run, but being in the Monarch bracket, I would have some serious work to do in the next few days...


really?
0

#12 User is offline   mercerboy 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 04:23 PM

I have yet to look at the scores, but I am assuming I am being pummeled.

Maybe I should have brought this bad boy out a few days ago.



Follow me to douche heaven!
Proud member of the Soul-sucking Pessimist Club.

"The power of Change In Atmosphere Night defies all known laws of the universe." - Syrbucco

The One, The Only, The Incomparable Mercer Boy - as seen on CNBC and ESPNEWS for making $324.34 by betting $20 against the Pirates in every game of the 2010 season.
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#13 User is offline   buccosmfg 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 04:24 PM

who knew douchebag jesus wore a snuggie
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#14 Guest_parkerbatteryday_*

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 04:38 PM

That would have guaranteed you a win. No question.
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#15 User is offline   Martini 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 04:40 PM

I voted.


Get it?
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#16 User is offline   Where's_Warren_Morris? 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 05:11 PM

Yeah, that reaches new scales on a douchetastic level

edit: or just flip that around ... yeah, that's about right
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#17 User is offline   DanPotashtic 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 05:25 PM

QUOTE (mercerboy @ Mar 20 2009, 05:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have yet to look at the scores, but I am assuming I am being pummeled.

Maybe I should have brought this bad boy out a few days ago.



Follow me to douche heaven!


It isnt the snuggie that makes this douchey, it is the humidifier on the floor.
0

#18 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 05:32 PM

Mercer was obviously not seeded properly. Me thinks had the committee seen the Snuggie picture, he could easily have been a 6 seed.
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
0

#19 User is offline   Martini 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 05:56 PM

QUOTE (LonghornBuc @ Mar 20 2009, 06:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why is Mercers boner sticking out of the middle of his chest?

That's his Guitar Hero Special Achievement Medal from youtube.


Get it?
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#20 Guest_sloshyj_*

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 07:29 PM

QUOTE (Martini @ Mar 20 2009, 06:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's his Guitar Hero Special Achievement Medal from youtube.

+1
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