Pittsburgh Pirates: The Lumber Company vs. CRIMHEAD - Pittsburgh Pirates

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The Lumber Company vs. CRIMHEAD Rate Topic: -----

Poll: TLC vs. CRIM (57 member(s) have cast votes)

The Lumber Company vs. CRIMHEAD

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#1 User is offline   Douchius Maximus 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:03 PM

The first matcup of the 2009 CIA Douchebag Tournament is a wildly anticipated 8/9 matchup between The Lumber Company and CRIMHEAD.

The Lumber Company: Although he's only been around for a year or two, The Lumber Company has quickly become one of Team Winter's strongest contributors. He's primarily known for using substantive arguments in his criticisms of the Pittsburgh Pirates organization. Quite frankly, he uses substantive arguments in all of the sports debates and he's so good at it that many members of CIA resent him and consider him to be a massive douche.

When he's not on CIA tangled up in debates, he can be seen dancing in front of a mirror, wearing a wig, playing air guitar while getting all the lyrics wrong to "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger. That is, of course, when he's not masturbating to Bobby Brown videos. How far can all of this get him in this competiton?

CRIMHEAD: Ask this guy what his screen name means and he'll lecture you about Bill Bruford's incredible polyrythmic use of the rudiments. You're probably asking yourself, "what the fuck does that mean?" This committee thinks it means "douche."

He spends much of his time on CIA defending his beloved Pittsburgh Panthers while constantly scrapping with the West Virginia contingent. He's been labelled a Nutting apologist, yet ironically, he's been fairly critical of Neal Huntington at times, which raises his level of douche to some board members. His argumentative style has gotten under the skin of quite a few and could help him in this first round matchup.



There is something so gay about this opening round match that the committee almost cancelled it. It cannot be quantified exactly, but it's reminiscent of the time that Peter Brady wore a fake mustache to look older when he went on the double date with Greg.
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#2 User is offline   The Lumber Company 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:06 PM

Classic. Outstanding work from the committee, although I'd like to also point out that I NEVER get the lyrics wrong to Sister Christian.
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#3 User is offline   jeffr92 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:07 PM

It really was hard to vote against a fellow Austrian, but I had to, sorry CRIM.
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#4 User is online   DoctorJohnnyFever 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:08 PM

I voted for CRIMHEAD because he once told me back in the ESPN days that Aaron Smith wasn't any good.
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#5 User is offline   mzimmerman81 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:23 PM

I also voted for CRIM
5 GP

10-16, 4-2B, 2-3B, 9 RBI, 6 R
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#6 User is offline   hir51 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:23 PM

I voted for TLC because I don't get the hole muppet thing.

And I work for a lumber company. ANd I don't like work.
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#7 User is offline   The Lumber Company 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:26 PM

QUOTE (hir51 @ Mar 20 2009, 01:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I voted for TLC because I don't get the hole muppet thing.

I'd like to point out that Crim also has a muppet avatar, although mine would blow his up with his dynamite.
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#8 User is offline   cbh 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:26 PM

MOTORIN'!!!!!!!!




WHAT'S YOUR PRICE FOR FLIGHT????
If I dared your son to do something, he'd be DEAD. I wouldn't do a wimpy dare, like "read a short story quickly". I'd have a real dare, like EAT A BAG OF FIRE!!!!"
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#9 Guest_Nickflair04_*

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:28 PM

QUOTE (The Lumber Company @ Mar 20 2009, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd like to point out that Crim also has a muppet avatar, although mine would blow his up with his dynamite.


Crazy Harry >>>>>>>> Sam the Eagle
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#10 User is offline   hir51 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:32 PM

QUOTE (The Lumber Company @ Mar 20 2009, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd like to point out that Crim also has a muppet avatar, although mine would blow his up with his dynamite.

Oh yeah, he does. Forgot because he didn't post in this thread.

Well, it comes down to my dislike for work and your name reminding me of that. Bastard.

And I still don't get the muppets. Does that make me more or less of a douche?
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#11 User is offline   Penguin 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:33 PM

10 to 10.

This match up isn't disappointing.
"The business of baseball is to make money, not break even. I don't understand why you think the Pirates should run their team like a charity." - Willlton 6/18/2009

"The Bay trade doesn't look like it (a slam dunk winner), but if you take into account the fact that all they lost was eight months of Jason Bay's services, as well as the fact that even the Red Sox look like they won't be able to re-sign him, it's not nearly the loser many people seem to think." - tWTM 11/26/2009

"Morton is finding himself, now while this may sound weird and out there, but the fact he put on a solo concert at Piratefest shows he finally has the confidence that he lacked within himself that he didn't have in the lower minors." - aso513 2/8/2010

"Dave Littlefield vindicated." - Xiga 4/30/2011 after one scoreless inning of relief by Daniel Moskos.

"Hanrahan and Cedeno would be a gross overpayment for Belt. Sorry, but I'll stick with my realistic analysis of the market and the teams involved." - Steve Zielinski 5/25/2011

"He (Barmes) could have a .000 Batting Average and still be an asset." - bradlej31 5/28/2012

"The last time the Pirates won an extra-inning game in St. Louis that lasted at least 16 frames was April 20, 1986 at Chicago." - Kristy Robinson 8/19/2012

"I want to tweet something clever and interesting to you that will earn your respect and make you smile, since you do that to me all the time." - jpbucco to Colin Dunlap 4/12/2016

"If the Pirates had acquired Giancarlo Stanton from the Marlins, Im not sure they would have won the Benedict trade." - David Todd 11/11/2015
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#12 User is offline   The Lumber Company 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:36 PM

QUOTE (hir51 @ Mar 20 2009, 01:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh yeah, he does. Forgot because he didn't post in this thread.

Well, it comes down to my dislike for work and your name reminding me of that. Bastard.

And I still don't get the muppets. Does that make me more or less of a douche?


I don't get it either. But I'm pretty sure an adult who loves muppets = douche.
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#13 User is offline   oblongatta 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 12:45 PM

QUOTE (hir51 @ Mar 20 2009, 01:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And I still don't get the muppets.


what's not to get? They're muppets.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKeXb0SCr1w
">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKeXb0SCr1w
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crap. fail. don't have time right now to dig out the correct way.

You're pretty on the inside,
That's better than not pretty at all,
You're pretty on the inside,
Too bad I'm an outside kinda pretty guy.
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#14 User is offline   Jeff King 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 01:16 PM

Wow!! All tied up at 14!

CIA has it's very own March Madness going on.
Posted Image

To leave feedback or to reach me directly, please use this intercom.
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#15 User is offline   PSU4Lyfe 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 02:24 PM

I voted for Crim to tie it up and because he disagreed with me yesterday. Based on what I like to call the "Monarch Factor(The thought that ones' self is always right)" that is pretty douchey to disagree with me.
Disclaimer: This post in no way supports nor defends the signing of Rod Barajas.
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#16 User is offline   Martini 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 04:37 PM

I voter for The Lumber Company because he's such a suck-up. And his name abbreviates to TLC.

So gay.



Get it?
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#17 User is offline   PF82 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 05:11 PM

I voted for the turd sandwich
"I have to admit
I thought I was shock proof"
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#18 User is offline   Martini 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 05:50 PM

QUOTE (PF82 @ Mar 20 2009, 06:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I voted for the turd sandwich

Prepare to be relegated to the ranks of "nice guy".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Get it?
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#19 User is offline   PF82 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:08 PM

QUOTE (Martini @ Mar 20 2009, 06:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Prepare to be relegated to the ranks of "nice guy".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!


You suck at the internet. lol! laugh.gif
"I have to admit
I thought I was shock proof"
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#20 User is offline   The Lumber Company 

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 09:12 AM

It is looking good right now to survive and advance. Unfortunately, I could have the douchiest week of my entire life and not touch monarch in the second round. Monarch is like douche royalty, a superhero of douche if you will. It might be the one thing he truly does well, other than talk about how great he is.
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